I guess I've been pretty blessed in my life when it comes to death. I really haven't had to deal with it too much as far as people I'm close to go. Sure, I've had family pass on, but not really anyone I was close with. I knew of some kids in high school you died, but I didn't really know them. Ian's mom passed away a few years ago, but I had only really met her a few times. Now at the age of 25 I've been forced to step up and deal with a death of a good friend. My friend, Joe King, took his own life last Thursday. I guess the pain of this life came to be too much for him to bear so he drove off a cliff near The Dalles. He had been missing for about 3 weeks before this happened. After he was missing for about a week, we got the news that he was alive and well in Twin Falls, Idaho. Everyone just figured that he needed time to sort through some shit that was going on in his life and that when he felt the time was right we'd see him again. After the Slammer Softball games on Sunday, Lizzie made sure everyone from the team and other people who were important in Joe's life were at the Slammer. Matthew, Joe's brother, got up and made the announcement that Joe was no longer with us. I really only heard part of it because I had to walk away and sit down to take it all in. Joe's two daughters were strong enough to be there, and were holding together remarkably well. They loved their father, and I think now they know that their father was loved by many people.
Joe was a regular at the Slammer. I knew that I could almost always find him sitting on the corner bar stool at the Slammer drinking a tall MacNaughton's and Water (yuck!). He was always someone I could talk to when I had good news to share, or had a rough day at work. On days when I would head to the Slammer right after work, we would sit there and watch COPS, or whatever else was on TruTv that day. We'd laugh at the trashiness of the hookers that were getting busted, or that drunk asshole who'd come running out of his trailer yelling "I ain't hit that bitch, I's swears!". He loved it when I'd wear my hair down and curly. Often I'd catch him smelling my hair or he'd ask if he could touch it. When it came time to part ways for the evening, he'd take his "old man glasses" that he wore around his neck and hang them down his back so when he gave me a hug my boobs wouldn't squish and break them (it happened once). There was one time when we had planned a trip to the beach with a few other friends from the Slammer. The plan was that I would head to the Slammer, meet Joe for a few drinks, and then we'd head to LO to pick up Ian before heading on our way. The entire drive to Lake Oswego, Joe was freaking out because he didn't really trust women drivers. That was the same day Joe learned how to use an Ipod, so I could better concentrate on driving. That was also when I learned that Joe was a fan of The Black Eyed Peas. After we picked up Ian we were on our way...or well sort of. Ian had forgotten to print out directions to the beach. Joe, sitting in the back seat drinking his MacNaughton's out of the bottle wearing his ranch hat, said he could get us there. After a couple hours of asking Joe at each intersection if we need to go right, or left, or straight or whatever, and he response was always "yeah, totally!", we realized we were lost. We ended up driving down a few sketchy roads, the ones where you see a house every 5 miles with the confederate flags flying proudly on the jacked up rusty truck. Finally the road started to narrow, trees were lying in the middle of the road, we lost the pavement, and it was quite a drop down to the river next to us. Ian managed to safely turn around while we must have all been holding our breathes hoping that it'd all turn out okay. Eventually we made it back on track, and arrived at the beach house about 4 hours later then expected. The rest of the weekend was a blast, and everyone one teased us about trusting Joe with the job of navigator. These are just a few of my favorite memories with Joe. I really could go on and on and on about all the funny things he's said or done and all the memories I have after just only knowing him for a short time. Joe really did mean alot to me, as he did to alot of people.
One of the things that I'm struggling with the most right now is anger. Angry that someone who was so loved could hurt so many people. Angry that he left his family behind. Angry that one of the most selfless seeming people that I knew could do something so selfish. Of course I'm truly sad that I lost a good friend. Sad that I'll never get to see him again. Sad that I'll never be able to give him another hug, or kiss, or tell him to put some god dammed lotion on those hands. Sad that this father, friend, boyfriend, brother, uncle, son, was hurting so much so deep down inside that he couldn't reach out to those closest to him and ask for help.
Please, to anyone who reads this, if you ever feel you can't go on, if you ever feel like you have no one to talk to, no one to understand, call 1-800-Suicide, call a friend, ask for help, reach out to those around you. You ARE loved and you WILL be missed.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Wow this is one really boring day. At least it's friday, and at least I'm not stressing out like I was at the begining of the week. Nothing exciting going on this weekend, just headed to the Slammer after work and sleeping in tomorrow and Sunday. Next weekend is when all the fun will happen! We're going to the mountain with a bunch of friends and staying all weekend. It should be a big fun drunken fest! YAY! Welllllllll that's all.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Traveled to San Fran via camping trip through the Red Woods. Flip a Raft. And some other stuff

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I gave up making resolutions

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Lauren & Lindsay!!! GO BABIES!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I don't think so.

5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A freaking car that works!

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I can't name exact dates but all my trips from last year....

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Joined a gym!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting a car like planned.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing more then that common cold.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I don't know.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Everyone!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Dunno

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills. Smokes.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Mexico!!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Your Party - Ween

17. Compared to last year are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier (always happier)
b) thinner or fatter? same-ish
c) richer or poorer? both

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? saving money

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? spending money

20. How will you be spending Christmas? All over the place visiting family....i imagine

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Only more in love...

22. How many one-night stands? Nada one.

23. What was your favorite TV program? Family Guy, Psych, The Office

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Probably not.

25. What was the best book you read? The Pact

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don't think I discovered anything...

27. What did you want and get? Uh....don't know.

28. What did you want and not get? A Car

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Pineapple Express

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I just turned 25 and we had a giant party for all the people with birthdays in january. Awesomeness!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I didn't have to ride the fucking bus.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Oh I wish I had one.

33. What kept you sane? Beer. Weed.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, you know the usual suspects. ;-)

35. What political issue stirred you the most? That President Obama guy is a pretty big deal.

36. Who did you miss? Lauren!

37. Who was the best new person you met? Michael Manning (I can't think of too many new people I met)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008: Patience

39. How was your 2008? Excellant!

Ugh, so Ian's out of town on some super macho frat boy gay sports trip. He left Wednesday afternoon and will be home Sunday. This is offically the longest we've been apart since we've offically been together, and I'll tell you what, I don't think I've ever felt so lonely and left out in my life. Here I am sitting at work half in tears because I know I still have 2 more nights of sleeping in a big empty house, in a big empty bed, waking up to clean up cat shit that Booger has left on the floor because he's mad at me because I'm mad at him for chewing on the lamp while I'm trying to squeeze in at least 3 hours of sleep. You'd think that if I'm only getting 3 hours of sleep each night I must be doing a fairly good job of keeping myself occupied. However, that is not the case. Wednesday after dropping Ian off a the airport I got a hair cut and proceeded to go home and cry for hours. I watched two movies, "Best Little Whore House in Texas" and "Little Woman", I drank all the beer in the fridge, ate a day old burger, tried playing on the computer, scraped my pipe 40 billion times with less then desirable results, paced around the house a whole bunch, and watched some crap on the tv, before laying in bed staring at the ceiling until sleep came. I woke up right about 3:30am, went outside and had a smoke. I couldn't get back to sleep so I just watched tv instead. There is nothing on tv at 4 in the morning. Nothing at all, so I cried some more. Yesterday after work I headed down to the Slammer hoping someone would call me about some weed. Nobody called me, but after calling a few people I found it! Yes, that was the highlite of my day, pathetic. So I picked some up for me, and for a friend. I met my friend at a sketchy Mini Mart way out in the middle of Sketch-ville. While I waited for her I bought a big fatty tall can of Steel Reserve, Diet Coke to mix with my rum, and some smokes, and a Reesers Burrito. I figure if I have to be alone, I may as well utilize all my vices and maybe something might help me sleep. I ended up meeting back at the Slammer for 2 drinks to play some Big Buck Hunter Safari with Katie & JE. I headed home after that plopped my ass on the couch with my fully loaded pipe, cheap High Gravity beer stuff, and watched the more crap tv. I can't even remember what I watched it was so crappy. I must have passed out somewhere around 1am on the couch, because I woke up around 2am and headed to bed. I "slept in" til 4:30 when I got up and heated up the burrito I bought at the Mini Mart that I didn't eat the night before, cracked my Diet Coke that I didn't drink and watched the news. Boy is the news depressing, so again I cried. Now I'm at work and I have plans tonight with Katie. We're going to get a pedicure and grab some drinks after that. I'm not feeling very social and would love nothing more then to be in a coma until Ian gets home, but Katie is being such a great friend and doing her best to cheer me up and keep me company in the boys absence. Tomorrow we're meeting at Yurs to watch the Purdue/Oregon game that my boyfriend and company is at. I have a feeling that won't really make me feel all that better. Sunday is my mom's birthday. And then Sunday evening is what I'm looking forward to the most....my better half is returning home!

 

Last Tuesday Ian, myself, Timmy, and Weaven got in a car and headed out on a road trip. 

 

Friday night after a night of drinking and excitement I thought it would be a good and responsible idea to leave my car in the parking lot across from the Slammer. However, Saturday morning I realized this had not been such a good idea when I noticed a window had been busted out. YAY! One more car break in to blog about. What did they take you ask? A fucking cat carrier. Yup. That's it. Super Gay. So I was upset over that for awhile, but I have the worlds best boyfriend to make me feel better. I'm just tired of people breaking my shit. Not cool people. Not cool at all.

According to Ian Sunday was "the most wonderful day of the year". Now, imagine that being sang to the tune of that Christmas song "It's the most wonderful time of the year" and in regards to it being Super Bowl Sunday. Is that not enough to make you gag? I guess this is where Ian and I disagree the most. Super Bowl Sunday is NOT the best day of the year, in fact it doesn't even make my top 10. But I did have a grand time at Brad's SuperDrunken Bowl Party. We did Irish Car Bombs, Keg Stands, and ate food. That, my friend, was a good time. However, it still doesn't top St. Patricks Day, Christmas, My Birthday, Halloween, Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Labor Day, or Valentines Day....or most of Summer.
This year I did manage to keep all my clothes on and not jump in an outdoor pool. I guess I do get wiser as the years go by. Whodathunkit.

I guess this is about all I have for now. I'm going to try and be better about documenting shit. TA TA!

We flew into Puerto Vallarta on Sunday the 4th. Once we gathered our luggage, and found someone to help us, we were rushed past customs, outside into what felt like 100 degrees. We loaded 13 suit cases, and countless numbers of carry ons, into the back of a Van. The driver took us straight to our resort. Once we were all checked in and accounted for, we took the elevator to the 9th floor. We then unlocked the door to what would be our home for the next 6 nights. It was absolutly AMAZING! The whole front part of the penthouse had doors that opened up onto a veranda with the most breath taking view of the ocean and parts of the city! After our ooooo's and ahhhhhhh's, we hopped into our swim suits and headed out to the beach. The beach and the pool was where we all spent most of our time! In a place like this how could you not just sit back, soak up the sun, and drink foofy drinks?!? 
I would love to recount each and everyday for you all, but the days get muddled together in the most wonderful of ways. One day we took a van up to El Eden, hung out there for a bit. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be, but I got my picture taken with a Predator. Another day we went to a Fiesta where donned goofy balloon hats and danced the Chicken Dance. There was a day or two of exploring the town, purchasing souveniers, and getting bombarded by vendors trying to sell us blankets, jewlery, or a parasailing Spiderman. There were a couple evenings spent enjoying the night life! What a trip! It was amazing! 

It was hard to come home on Sunday. It was dark and cold when we got back. Monday was horribly windy and rainy. I would move to Puerto Vallarta in a heart beat if I could. Maybe someday. Someday when I learn Spanish....

Well, enjoy some pictures from my trip!

 
The view from our 9th floor Penthouse!

Saturday afternoon watched the Duck game at Claudias. Had a Car Bomb at half time, and when the game was over we went to the Triple Nickel. Needless to say I was drunk by 3. Had just enough time to take a nap and wake up to get ready for a Halloween party.
The Halloween party itself was okay. But the location was kick ass. It was the perfect setting for a Halloween party. In an old school house (not old skool), think early 1800's, in the middle of nowhere. To get there you have to drive down the Old Historic Highway, which at night is creepy all by itself. Anyways, I went as a Slutty Vampire (HOT!!!), and Ian went as the Skull Splitter. It was good times.

Sunday I didn't do much of anything. Breakfast made me sick so I spent alot of time watching crap tv and napping.

I leave for Mexico next Sunday! I am soooooooooooo excited I could pee my self! PEEEEEE! I can only imagine what it's like hanging out on a beach that's actually warm! There is sunshine! And ohhhhhhh it'll be nice. I'll have a Margarita for you all.

The bummer:
-The car I've been waiting to get for monthes still isn't ready and may never be ready.
-I was just informed that paperwork got screwed up on my house and who knows if and when it will close now. FUCKING mortgage companys fault, and I might have to pay for it.
-Tool tickets are sold out. Well at least the ones I can afford. Last I checked I don't have $300-$600 to spend on one ticket.

The much good-er:
-Duck game was good fun
-I leave for Mexico in 17 or 18 days!
-I've paid my bills and still have money
-Lauren will be in town for some time in November after I get back!

So, I need to document the adventures that I have. They are one of a kind for sure.

When: Friday July 27th 2007
8:15pm - 10ish 

Where: Captain Ankeny's Well
50 SW 3rd Ave
Portland, OR 97204

The cast:
Ian
Amanda (me)
Weaven
Casey
Brad
Misc. "Brad Friends" - known now as "The Extras"
Bartender - known from here on out as "Assbag"
Bouncer - know from here on out as "Major Douche"
Owner - John

(Now for the good stuff)

The What:
Ian and I had gone out to dinner, and had tenative plans to meet Brad and The Extras at the Brewfest. We had been informed that the 'Fest was going to be closing at 9, which made it seem like kind of a waste. So we headed over to the Captain's, grabbed a table outside, ordered a pitcher and we were joined by Casey shortly thereafter. Ian had ordered us a 2nd pitcher and we were then blessed with the company of Brad and The Extras. Short one chair, we all took turns standing up. We were then informed by the Assbag that if we had a beer in our hand we were to be sitting down. Okay, no problem right? So the person standing couldn't be holding a beer, no biggie. Then Assbag told us that we all had to be seated, so I sat down on Ian's lap. See, we're compliant, no scene, no nothing, just a group of friends enjoying Casey telling one of the Extras that he was a light tech for a traveling missonary. She bought it. 100%. There was not a doubt in her mind that he was flat out lying to her. It was great. Assbag comes back, grabs the pitcher off the table and storms inside. I go running after him, grabbed my pitcher out of his hands. Sat down at the table inside and finished the pitcher while talking to a couple skater kids who had just moved here from Seattle. Ian and Weaven were milling around inside, finishing beers so we could get out of this shitty joint. I guess at this point Brad and the Extras had been kicked out. After our beers were finished, and as we were walking out the door, I look to Ian and said "Fuck this place, I'm NEVER coming back". The bouncer who should have been minding his own business and doing his job of carding the 18 year old skater kids that I was sitting with, said "FUCK YOU, I deal with idiots like you every day" I'm thinking "What's his deal, last I checked there was no actual Captain Ankey". Instead of letting his comment roll off me like a normal person, I turned around got up in his face and told him " HOW DARE YOU CALL ME AN IDIOT! YOU DO NOT CALL ME,  A PAYING CUSTOMER AN IDIOT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TREATED SO POORLY AT A BAR! THIS IS BULL SHIT...BLAH BLAH BLAH....YELL YELL YELL" While I'm yelling, both Ian and Weaven are trying to pull me off the guy and get me to leave. Well, I wasn't leaving until I had gotten my point across.  Next thing I know the owner comes out of the building asking me what the problem was, and if I wanted to talk about it. I did. We talked. He saw my point, and wanted me to see his. Lot's of drunk people coming from the brewfest. Yeah, I'm not going back ever!!!!

A. Become an alcoholic
B. Jump off a building onto some unsuspecting people
C. Put a "contract" out on my coworkers
D. Get run over by car
E.  All of the above

so it's been one of those days. you know the kind where when some one asks you how your day has been going the only thing you can respond with is "it's been one of those days". i hate my job. sometimes i wish i would get hit by a car in the morning, nothing real serious, just bad enough so i could spend the rest of the day in the hospital and not at work. at least in the hospital they give me food, pj's, a bed, and a tv. i could be watching cheesy soap operas in a hospital gown instead of here at work being everyone's bitch. "amanda do this order for me", "amanda i messed up this shit, fix it", ::ring ring:: " i need you to perform miracles".......fucking christ, the people don't even say please or thank you. i get back from lunch and i have 3 voicemails because no one else will take a fucking call, i have 2 hand written orders to be placed because it's an inconvienence for anyone else to do it. i HATE this job. 

/rant